Friday, April 15, 2016

I'm I.

I love people. I love how everyone is so different, yet there are these threads that are so completely the same. I think the only people I really have a hard time being around or liking are the people that refuse to see the value in their polar opposites. We need both groups; we need the super flexible people and the super rigid people. We need the people who could give a crap what others think and the people that make sure that everyone's happy. We need both groups because we need balance.

My family is balanced because I am overly idealistic and Ryan is overly realistic. My children, as a group, seem balanced because Aayla's rules balance Asher's logic which balances Moo's love which balances Aayla's administration which balances Asher's ingenuity which balances Aayla's safety and Moo's reluctance to be vulnerable... and on and on and on. As a group, they can accomplish so much. My rule follower isn't better than my risk taker. My leader isn't better than my pack follower. None of them is better than another because without each other they are overly... something. Asher is overly aggressive without Ameira. Ameira is overly melodramatic without his logic. Aayla is overly bossy without Asher's constant challenging. It just is.

I love that my sister, I have finally discovered, is an ESTP. She is an extrovert, although for a while I was convinced she wasn't. She tested herself and answered all the questions as she wanted to be... and was exactly what Alissa and I tested as, ENFPs. She is so uniquely different, I really didn't feel she was the same as us at all. It's true. She, despite being the youngest, was always the one to bravely face whatever fearful thing it was we needed to do. Alissa wilted like a spinach leaf when it came to handling a naughty horse. Bree took that horse by the lead rope, jerked it, and commanded the horse to obey. Her very presence, so confident and self-assured, convinced the horses that despite her being 1/3 of their height (it seemed), she sounded like she could ruin their lives if they even thought cross-eyed. I believe the stories go that this behavior began when Bree was four. When stuff happens to Bree, she needs time to process it alone, then she's ready to talk about it. It's just what she does. When she gets a crazy idea, it's pedal to the metal, so get out of her way. I love that her husband is, what I believe to be, an ESFJ. From what I'm reading those two personalities are soul mates. I laugh at that because each of them drive each other bananas because they approach life so differently, yet they are so perfect for each other. Jeff can't jump on a project and just go for it to save his life (Hi, Jeff! I appreciate you, don't be mad!). Bree gets so excited and bops between a gazillion projects while they are fun; she would rather blaze through and blow the whole place up rather than drag it out and do things slowly. Jeff said he is the reins and she is the horse. They are balance together.

Ryan and I are so very, very different. As I have said, I am overly idealistic. Ryan is overly realistic. You're probably saying, Seriously? Is there such a thing as too realistic? Well, to an idealist, absolutely there is. I say, really? Is there such a thing as overly idealistic? I only qualify idealistic because I know Ryan would. It's a concession I give. I am an ENFP. Ryan is an INTJ. I love that man more than anyone else in the entire world. I'd pick him again, even though in the past I have sometimes wondered if I really would. I've settled on a solid HELL YES, rich or poor, sickness or health, idiocy or brilliance, selfless or selfish, fit or fat, saved me the last coke or drank the last two by himself, farts in my bed or farts in my bed and throws the covers over my head, better or worse... this man is mine. He's the string to my balloon. Sometimes he needs to be carried into the clouds. Sometimes I need to be secured to the ground. We are balance together. He's not a risk taker or a fast mover (in a different way than Jeff). Sometimes I go too idealistic and dreamy and he builds a foundation for my castle in the sky. But we dream together. My dreams are what if's and somedays. His dreams are when and soon. Neither of us do things because thats the way they should be done. I reject the notion that because something has been done or should be done to be a part of polite society, then that needs to be a priority. Shenanigans. I want nothing to do with it. Neither does he. We are balance together. I would probably want to shoot myself if I was married to an SJ--I cannot stomach being micromanaged... and all those rules! and traditions! and This-Is-THE-Right-Way! yikes. I couldn't be married to an SP because their adaptability sometimes seems inauthentic to me. Do I love people who are SJ or SP, yes. I am thankful for all the S friends I have. I find it hilarious that of the ten or so friends I consider my closest, share-my-life-with-them friends, most of them are ISFJs. Fascinating huh? I just couldn't be *married* to them. ENFP + INTJ = SOULMATES.

Now, Alissa... she's an ENFP. She married an ESTP. They find balance together because she's an exceptionally cautious ENFP. His crazy, risky, wild soul balances her fears (balances, not soothes) and caution.

I just love people. I love figuring out how their brains think. I think it's endlessly fascinating and worthwhile. If I could sit and people watch all day, I would.

Now I've written myself tired, so that's a wrap.


1 comment:

emilee said...

I love this. =)

Since taking the Meyers-brigg test, always wondered if certain personality types are attracted to each other. I also find it interesting that both my parents are ISJTs and get along...