Sunday, January 26, 2014

Always Room for Improvements

Ah yes. Here we go, for posterity's sake: school, weight loss, financial reorganization. Goals, goals, goals.

Homeschooling had us NOT SCHOOLING from the week of Thanksgiving until what was supposed to be the first full week of January (it took us two extra weeks to actually get going on it). It was glorious. It was magnificent. The weather has been REAL, HARD WINTER. In all it's glory. We got out and played every day that it wasn't below 15. We went REAL sledding down the ginormous hill that I used to run up during my cross-country races in HS (and wanted to KILL. MYSELF.). I didn't know how Asher would do, given that the people at the bottom look like tiny ants... and he is two. We got to the top and Ryan and Aayla started to plan out how they would go down (of course they would), Moo was still dragging her asthmatic self up the hill and Asher got to the top, flopped his sled down, shouted, "Dis gone be FUUUN!" and down he shot like a rocket... and kept going and going and going. Just like that. Well, fine, I wasn't going to worry about you anyway. (yea right). We sledded on that hill about 4 different times in December and also at the smaller, in-town hill that is just around the corner about 10 times. We have broken two sleds and dug out one from the attic that I considered to be an antique runner sled... but Ryan looked at me like I was crazy and loaded himself and two kids on it before heading down the hill. I have burned THOUSANDS (okay, 2k) of calories sledding with my kids. It has been awesome. We are back in the swing of things and doing great now that I bought Acey a planner and let her keep track of what is done and what needs to be done. She was born responsible I think. Still trying to make plans for next year's school as cheaply as possible but trying to personalize it to all the different levels she is at. It's getting complicated.

Speaking of The Calorie topic. Around Thanksgiving our friends (Ryan's co-worker, and our somewhat neighbors) decided that we all needed to lose weight. Ryan needed to get rid of what he'd put on during his undercover, eat-out-every-day-because-there-isn't-another-option weight that was negatively affecting his blood work results. He has lost 18lbs. He's done. He's back to our wedding weight? I am SO PROUD OF HIM. I think he lost a couple more too that he didn't count because he didn't weigh in right away, but whatever. He dropped it all by moving more and by reducing his calories. SO PROUD. So what about me?

Here is my history in all it's boring glory (and only from memory, since I didn't ever really keep track):

  • 2000: 118 lbs, BMI 19.0, 17 yrs old, possibly shorter than I am now, running... a LOT 
  • 2001: 135 lbs, BMI 21.5, 18 yrs old, injured, not exercising
  • 2001: 120 lbs, BMI 19.5, 18 yrs old, summer, working construction 
  • 2002: 168 lbs, BMI 27.5, 19 yrs old, eating Sysco food at college (seriously, I was huge)
  • 2003: 155 lbs, BMI 25.0, 20 yrs old, came home, joined gym, ate regular food again
  • 2004: 138 lbs, BMI 22.5, 21 yrs old, wedding, (stressed! ha)
  • 2007: 146 lbs, BMI 23.5, 24 yrs old, pregnant with Acey
  • 2008: 196 lbs, BMI ----, 24 yrs old, end of pregnancy with Acey, April 3,  +50lbs
  • 2009: 148 lbs, BMI 24.0, 25 yrs old, mom of 1, pregnant with Moo, I lost all but 2lbs!
  • 2009: 175 lbs, BMI  ----, 26 yrs old, end of pregnancy with Moo, October 23, +27lbs
  • 2010: 146 lbs, BMI 23.5, 27 yrs old, mom of 2, pregnant with Asher: 
  • 2011: 185 lbs, BMI  ----, 28 yrs old, end of pregnancy with Asher, March 1, +39lbs
  • 2013: 148 lbs, BMI 24.0, 30 yrs old, November

Ryan is at 100% of his goal. I am at 73%. I don't think I could have done this without a little competition because to be honest, I just didn't care enough. 

I'm down 9.6 lbs and am officially my wedding weight. That little victory feels so good. My little "Lose It" app says I have 16 days to go before I can start not being hungry again. hahaha I really never thought I would see the 130's again on a scale. My belly pudge is definitely shrinking. My pants fit better. I feel good. I like my body slightly more than I liked my body at 145. Meh. It's freaking hardwork, don't get me wrong... and frustrating. I haven't really ever been one to FOCUS on wishing my body was "just a little" different here or there (you know, the ones who fixate on such things). That's just dumb. I mean there were ALWAYS areas, but why focus on it. If you hate it, change it. If you are honest, the reason you aren't changing it is because other things are more important to you and that is okay. (Disclaimers: unless you're putting yourself in danger... obviously then CHANGE IT. also, I realize some people can't change it because of hormones or actual physiological issues. Those people are not whom I am speaking of.) Priorities. I BELIEVE I can drop the last 3.5 lbs. I believe I can get to 135. But... then what?

I really want to be ATHLETIC again. Not for the sake of a sweet body, although that would be awesome... but because I LIKE to exercise and I like to be able to get out with my kids and do awesome stuff. Backpacking may be an option this year now that Asher will be 3 and is a brute. I have been stuck in the "this is not my season" mentality. I don't want to rock our boat. If I try to force the season, it isn't good for anyone and I get burnt out. I've done it before and it's not okay. I value calm, secure days more than being athletic. It will come when it's time. All things are not for all seasons. I don't want to be mad at myself for not being able to accomplish unrealistic goals. I have learned to stop trying to sled in summer. We have homeschool, and housekeeping, and self-sufficient food goals that are the most important. Honestly. My fitness level matters, it just doesn't matter MORE than a few other things. So I am going to be brainstorming ways to add back in getting STRONG without rocking the boat. 

There has also been financial reorganization here that really freaked me out. It was a little rough for a couple weeks, but honestly I can see a bit more long-term (now that there is a small cushion in each little category) and it's less stressful. I'm realizing that if I can stay in my grocery budget (and I will now, because I am completely cash only) it makes a HUGE difference. We had always said that if there were no categories to bail out, we would put half of whatever overtime Ryan earns into savings and then the other half gets split between the two of us for spending money. It's hard to work overtime and he deserves a reward. It's hard to be alone with the kids for that much longer and I deserve a reward. The problem was that there was NEVER a time that a category didn't need to be bailed out. This is the first time I have EVER received a "bonus" from overtime. This is the first year that we haven't pre-mentally-spent our tax return. It ALL gets to go to savings. The Lord is good. Taking the house off the market was most definitely what we were supposed to have done. So thankful for all we are blessed with!

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