I may or may not have mentioned it, but because of Ryan's work schedule and the very real possibility that my child won't see her Daddy Monday through Fridays for two school years, I have decided to homeschool. I have graduated from "may homeschool" to "will homeschool" because I'm feeling the pinch to get prepared to teach and we have not heard if I will need to yet. Instead of waiting until the beginning of September to start gathering information for my very first experience homeschooling or wasting my time going to great lengths to prepare for it and then sending her to public preschool because his schedule didn't change, I am just deciding to go for it. She will be homeschooled this year. While I'm at it, I am going to homeschool Ameira for preschool too so she doesn't feel left out. She'll be three in October. If we were on the public school schedule I would start Ace in preschool again this year and kindergarten in 2013. Ameira would start 2013 as a preschooler, 2014 as a young-five, and 2015 as a kindergartener. With homeschool we can just take a super relaxed version of kindergarten and preschool this year and see where we end up at the end of the year. It's most important to me that they get time with their daddy. Next comes a love of learning. Last comes academic achievement. I don't worry that they will fall behind. Learning seems to come easy to both of them.
I also am finding myself thinking up responses to criticism that I have not even begun to recieve. I find myself taking a deep breath before I tell someone I'm considering it. I act like I'm more wishywashy than I actually am. I state that I only plan to do it for the two years that Ryan's schedule will be different. I act like I think homeschooling is absolutely INSANE and I can't believe I'm considering it. All to avoid conflict. I need to own it unapologetically but also gracefully.
Oh the joys of learning how to parent. Oh the joys of feeling like you have to either defend every parenting choice you make or pretend you are just doing some temporary fix until you REALLY figure out what you want to do.
I am actually excited. I bought some supplies the other day at Wal-mart because they have their dollar bins full of back-to-school supplies out right now. I have had to (almost) yell to the girls that "WE ARE NOT DOING SCHOOL. STOP ASKING." everyday since they saw me walk in with the bags. So funny. I have also found a friend IN OUR TOWN that has a 3.5 yr old and will also be homeschooling. Maybe, just maybe we can be an encouragement to each other.