Thursday, January 5, 2012

High and Lows.

Amazing things from the past month:

  • Felt like myself again, like I had previously posted, and therefore started slowly working some much needed things back into my life. That pretty much explains the silence on this little bloggity blog.
  • All three of my babies received tubes in their ears on Dec 27. Life was different the very next day; better... less crying and complaining. Hadn't even realized how much of it was going on because it happened gradually and was pretty much constant. 
  • Started back up my "cleaning notebook." haha I'm suuuuch a dork. Each day has a specific room/chore for the day... with a list that gets down to toothpicks and old toothbrushes in order of priority. I get as far as I can and whatever doesn't happen... I DON'T WORRY ABOUT until the next week. 4 days of chores... 3 days off (well, as "off" as a mom of 3 kids 3&under can be). We are up for spontaneous guests once again.
  • The Jesse Tree. Absolutely LOVED doing it. We did it in its entirety; Dec 1-Christmas day. A few days we had to do some makeups, but it was all god. I can't believe how much Acey picked up from it. She's got an amazing brain. Will most certainly be doing it next year.
  • Got sidetracked from my last list and started making mittens. They fit... until I put the ribbing stitch on the bottoms. :) ha. I have to pull that out and redo the bottoms. At least I separated my skein into two separate balls and have been crocheting the two mittens at the same time to get them to match. The end is in sight.
  • Cassie gifted me her old Mac laptop. Whaaaaa?!?! She did. Cause I'm awesome. Oh wait, cause she's awesome. She bought a new one and passed this one off. I feel like I won the lottery.
  • Car starter campaign? Complete. He totally tricked me. We opened presents and he got me a screen printing kit that I'd been drooling over. We finished opening gifts. Nap time happened. Ry took a nap since he had to work that evening. Everybody woke so we could get to my sisters for the 2nd Annual Christmas Prime Rib Dinner. (twist my arm...) He offered to go out and start the car... but he didn't go out. He just started it from the kitchen. And I almost slugged him. I did hit him... but I held back a little. First reaction because he totally tricked me.
So many, many good things happening around here. I put a facebook status that said something like, "I've got JOY" ... (blah blah blah somethings else). That night we had friends over for New Years Eve. After they left I checked my email and saw an email from someone that I would rather pretend doesn't exist. No hate--just stomach churning repulsion, a desire to feel nothing, and also a desire to feel genuine concern for this person. I feel like my legs were pulled right out from underneath me. Feeling the "everything is perfect" feeling... and then suddenly that? It felt like it was a lot further of a fall. I know who my God is. I know where I want to end up with all of this. I know that God is sovereign. I just feel like I'm struggling through this latest thing; not struggling to know what is truth... but rather struggling to CHOOSE truth at all moments. What did the email say? Nothing of significance--just a mass email to everyone in the address book updating them on a new email contact. I know that, but just seeing the name in the "from" section has thrown me off for the last five days. Do I want to let this ruin me? No. Is it? It's giving it a hellava try. It won't. My God is stronger than this. I am still human. I am still flawed. My brain is hanging on rather tight to some rather destructive thoughts. I need to remember that it's not my fight but God's... and God always wins. And by "I need to remember" I really mean I need to stop trying to actively control this situation on my own. Pray.

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