I think I talk about how lonely I am a lot. Because I'm lonely a lot. I have this feeling right now and it's overwhelming; and its somehow the opposite of lonely. Maybe not opposite, but at least the positive side of lonely? Some mixture of contentment and something.
Maybe its because Ryan has been day shifting it for the past two weeks. Maybe its because I spent the first two days of his hunting season (and subsequent goneness) spending the night at my mom/dad's because since Ry was home each night we didn't make it to my mom's for two whole weeks (what?!) and my kids missed the grandparents. I'll admit it, I missed them too. Last night was his first night back to night shift, but I spent a third of the day at my parents, a third of it driving for Ryan since the truck was broken, and a third of it fighting the kids. Tonight is my first night alone in a long, long time it seems. Let it go in the record books; one perk of being a night shift widow is that you have alone time. It's a blessing and a curse because sometimes its nice to have that alone time... and sometimes it is just so isolating. Or maybe I feel not-lonely because I get to go away with some friends for the weekend. Maybe its just a case of my utils being high, right Boj?
Tonight, it is not burdensome. For whatever reason, I am enjoying myself. And that is weird.
So far I have put the kids to bed with some very rough guitar playing since I'm just starting and can "play" (used very loosely, mind you) about four songs. I have eaten too many chips. I have sat looking around at the laundry that I still need to put away, taunting it because it's going to sit for one more night. I am making plans to finish taking my measurements and get a little further in the book Design-it-Yourself Clothes: Patternmaking Simplified. And... drink a cherry coke.
It's okay because the house is picked up, acceptably clean thanks to lower standards, and every last blasted bit of laundry is washed and dried. Oh, and the kids are alive but sleeping. IT HAS BEEN A SUCCESSFUL DAY. Except I did completely forget that today was Thursday and Ace needed to go to preschool. Oops. Ha. At least I didn't realize it until after I put her to bed tonight.
And when I can't take how cold the house is any longer... I will go to bed. It's already quarter to 11, so I better get moving or I'm going to run out of time to sit and relax. Just kidding.