Thursday, January 6, 2011

Life Changes

Ry worked New Years Eve and therefore I was able to hang out with my friend Rachel. Rachel gets me. She gets my life because she is basically living my life with very similar struggles, schedules, etc. Her hubby works the same job just for a different city. We ended up staying up until 2am after the kids went to bed. This was mostly because it was the first time we were able to finish a sentence to each other without being interrupted or distracted by the kids. It was really stupid because the girls ended up getting up at 6:30am. SIX THIRTY. I thought that'd be ok because maybe Ry could get a few hours of sleep at home and then we could trade off and I could get some sleep. No such luck. He has been supervisor for the shift... and there was a robbery... and he didn't get out of work until 8:30... and showed up at Rachel's at 9am. I'm pretty sure cuss words were flowing freely (mostly in my head, but I wouldn't be surprised if a few slipped out) as I found this out. Hindsight is 20/20. Ry was going to let me sleep for an hour and then sleep himself... but instead Rachel took the kids upstairs around 9:30am and I slept until 11. Holy cow.

So back to the amazing conversation. I came away from it with a few suggestions and a lot of encouragment from her... and these mostly have to do with sleep. And that makes me giggle.
  1. Do not put up anymore with the girls coming out of their room before I'm up. I've been keeping it a secret, but I've been so desperate for sleep that when the girls wake up I've been letting them roam free. They end up coming in my room a couple times because Ace can open doors. Its a shoddy hour of pretend sleep, but I just couldn't get my body out of bed. I now know that partly was because my iron was ridiculously low. Opening the bedroom door, being exhausted even after a night of "sleep" and seeing crackers strewn about and mashed in my carpet (because Ace knows how to open up cupboards even with childproofing), couch cushions off, any clean laundry that had been folded but not put away strewn all over... just made me feel defeated. I'd spend an hour to an hour and a half trying to pick back up the house while getting the girls breakfast and all the other morning chores. It was just overwhelming. And depressing. And the rest of the house suffered. Its been just about 4 days (I can't remember, they all blend together) that we've had this rule and HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD, I FEEL REFRESHED.
  2. Ask for help when I need it. Especially from Ryan. Especially because he's more than willing to help and because he's awake by himself for about 5-6 hours. He has time to help with things that aren't too loud... like cleaning and laundry. Funny enough, I asked him to help and he was happy to help. I actually mean happy as in happy to know what he could do for me. That just about made me cry. Last night was his night off. He built me a shelf in the cleaning closet, washed the diapers, and still had time to read, play guitar, and have his own mental down time. I don't discount the mental down time thing. He's got a hard job and I know its a necessity. AND he was still in bed by 3:30 which gives him 8.5 hours of sleep.
  3. Ask for one day a month when I can sleep in until my body wakes me up. This is harder for me to wrap my mind around because I feel really guilty making Ryan get up in the morning. I actually haven't asked him about it yet. I know I should. I'd be a better mom for it and I know he'd be okay with it. It sounds good. We'll see about this one.
  4. Take a nap at least a couple times a week when the girls go down, letting Ry get up with them when they wake (since they wake past his normal wake time). I did this yesterday because I was grumpy and had hit a wall. I slept for three and a half hours. WHAA??!? I also went to bed at midnight... and woke up at 9. Whaa??? yes. I am feeling patient and relaxed... like I can be a good mom.
So, all this to say. Sleep is a very, very important thing. Having a clean house is crucial to have a stressfree day. Friends are awesome. Husbands are... awesomer? Ask for help. Get help. Life can become a beautiful, beautiful thing.

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