So back to the amazing conversation. I came away from it with a few suggestions and a lot of encouragment from her... and these mostly have to do with sleep. And that makes me giggle.
- Do not put up anymore with the girls coming out of their room before I'm up. I've been keeping it a secret, but I've been so desperate for sleep that when the girls wake up I've been letting them roam free. They end up coming in my room a couple times because Ace can open doors. Its a shoddy hour of pretend sleep, but I just couldn't get my body out of bed. I now know that partly was because my iron was ridiculously low. Opening the bedroom door, being exhausted even after a night of "sleep" and seeing crackers strewn about and mashed in my carpet (because Ace knows how to open up cupboards even with childproofing), couch cushions off, any clean laundry that had been folded but not put away strewn all over... just made me feel defeated. I'd spend an hour to an hour and a half trying to pick back up the house while getting the girls breakfast and all the other morning chores. It was just overwhelming. And depressing. And the rest of the house suffered. Its been just about 4 days (I can't remember, they all blend together) that we've had this rule and HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD, I FEEL REFRESHED.
- Ask for help when I need it. Especially from Ryan. Especially because he's more than willing to help and because he's awake by himself for about 5-6 hours. He has time to help with things that aren't too loud... like cleaning and laundry. Funny enough, I asked him to help and he was happy to help. I actually mean happy as in happy to know what he could do for me. That just about made me cry. Last night was his night off. He built me a shelf in the cleaning closet, washed the diapers, and still had time to read, play guitar, and have his own mental down time. I don't discount the mental down time thing. He's got a hard job and I know its a necessity. AND he was still in bed by 3:30 which gives him 8.5 hours of sleep.
- Ask for one day a month when I can sleep in until my body wakes me up. This is harder for me to wrap my mind around because I feel really guilty making Ryan get up in the morning. I actually haven't asked him about it yet. I know I should. I'd be a better mom for it and I know he'd be okay with it. It sounds good. We'll see about this one.
- Take a nap at least a couple times a week when the girls go down, letting Ry get up with them when they wake (since they wake past his normal wake time). I did this yesterday because I was grumpy and had hit a wall. I slept for three and a half hours. WHAA??!? I also went to bed at midnight... and woke up at 9. Whaa??? yes. I am feeling patient and relaxed... like I can be a good mom.