Sunday, December 26, 2010


This has easily been the hardest, most stressful year of my life. I know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but sometimes I didn't really believe that. I feel like we are dragging ourselves across the finish line of 2010 and we should be missing limbs... but we're not. We are missing some teeth... eh hem Ameira... and me. I almost forgive 2010 for its complete crappiness because Dad has survived his heart surgery. Almost.

I can look back and say that this year has royally sucked but don't think I've completely missed all the ways that God has blessed me this year.
  • I was able to feel love and support from my family and church when I physically couldn't take care of myself or my children... for the first two months of this year. Seriously, it humbled me in such a fantastic way and I'd never really known what it felt like to be so completely helpless as an adult. I can honestly say that I am thankful for the lessons. 
  • My babies grew just a little bit more and stayed healthy enough, despite having a mother that checked out for a few months. 
  • I was able to get my tonsils out and have had precisely two colds since and absolutely no bouts with strep or other throat ailment. That might not sound like much, but in hindsight, my tonsils should have been out in middle school since I would get strep at least 4-5 times a year--knocking me out for about a week each time. I'm grateful that it happened. 
  • We were even able to take our annual camping trip to the national forest we love so much. 
  • Moo's issues with her ears culminated in tubes... and even though she developed those freaky granulomas, her hearing was protected at such a critical point in speech development.
  • Ryan and I were brought to the lowest point I ever want us to get and we came back stronger with a foundation built more solidly on our Savior's grace, forgiveness, compassion, mercy, and unconditional love. I'm thankful for scripture. I'm thankful for our Savior. I'm thankful for godly counsel. I'm thankful for my husband's relationship with God that allowed him to help change the direction for our family. I'm thankful for my relationship with God that allowed me to help change the direction for our family. I wouldn't choose to have history repeat itself, but I can honestly say that I'm at a point where I think hitting that lowest of lows was the best thing that could have possibly happened to us. Refiner's fire.
  • I'm thankful for the opportunity to get to know a couple people a little better throughout the year. Particularly Betsy and Rachel. To have the opportunity to related and connect with such amazing woman is a blessing. What would we do without our girlfriends?
  • I'm thankful for Julie... only because I know she's reading this. Just kidding. I'm thankful to have another girlfriend that knows me so freaking well that I don't have to pretend to have all my loose ends tied up nice and neat. I can be damaged, I can be weak, I can be incredibly ridiculous and I still know that she loves me and doesn't judge me... and she'll tell me to suck it up when I need it. That is a real friend.
  • I'm thankful that my little Moo is turning out to be such a sweetie. I'm thankful my girls play together so well. I'm thankful that right at this instant, Aayla is "fixing Ameira's belly" with a toy and Ameira is smacking her in the head (innocently) with a maraca while Aayla yells at her to "cuts it out, Moo." ...and now they are laughing at each other. They bless my heart everyday. Sometimes they drive me nuts, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
  • I'm thankful for my husband's job. I'm thankful for the security it offers us during this whole economic crisis. I'm thankful for the medical insurance that it has provided us even this year alone. I'm thankful he has something that he loves to do. Even though some days are hard and he deals with a lot of crap, he misses it when he is gone and he genuinely enjoys his job. 
  • I'm thankful for this little life inside of me. I'm thankful that it's a boy. And, yes, sometimes I still think, holy crap, it's a BOY?!?! I'm thankful that we told everyone and that we call him by name. Aayla already has a one-sided relationship with him and she loves him so completely. She comes up with random nicknames for him; like Ashie. We will not allow Ashie because it sounds like Ashley, but there will be plenty of time to correct that one.
  • I'm thankful for a doctor named Dr. Dwayne Cook. He is my dad's primary care physician and he also goes to our church. He saved my Dad's life by insisting there was a bigger problem with my dad's heart that the specialist wasn't realizing. I'm thankful that my dad will be the one to break the chain of his dad, grandpa & g-grandpa dying of heart attacks, etc. I'm thankful that my dad didn't have to have a heart attack in order to find out there was a problem with his heart. I'm thankful it played out like it did. I'm thankful that he was able to have his heart repaired, which we are told will mean that his valve will last for the rest of his life, and not replaced with a pig valve which would have lasted 10-15 years. I'm thankful for my sisters, my mom, my brothers-in-law, and my own husband and the way that we all have a relationship with the Lord. I'm thankful for the surgeon who did Dad's surgery. I'm thankful for the way that my dad came through it all. I'm thankful that even though there were a couple close moments in the night, when it was just Dad and the hospital staff, that he was able to pull through... and that we only knew afterward.
I'm just thankful. But I still reserve the right to say, Adios, 2010, don't let the door hit you on the way out! :)

No comments: