Ry is hunting. In Wyoming for antelope. It is easy to not resent him for it this time because I feel like he is fully aware that by "letting him go" I take on more responsibility and I'm doing it because I love him and not because I am just trying to not make waves. In the past it has been a source of contention because I would be "fine" with "letting him go" but the second it became hard I would line up all my reasons why I fell into the class of Martyr. That would in turn make him miserable. Which would then make me more miserable. Etc. Etc.Classy wife, huh? Easy to live with, huh? Yea, I feel like an idiot.
Anyway, so here is the beginning of my "Things that make me miss and appreciate Ryan."
- He makes the bed every single day not because he cares but because he knows that at the end of a long day, I love to crawl into a bed that is neatly made.
- He takes the trash out before I even realize it needs to be done. I will sometimes put the trash on the back porch because it stinks and it still has room (and I'm so darn cheap I don't want to waste space in the bag). But MAGICALLY it just empties itself into the dumpster. Weird, right?
- He hugs me just about every time he passes me; touch is his love language. Touch may not be my primary love language, but man I miss his hugs and its only been three days. (well, 2.5)
- He talks. And listens.