Tuesday, April 6, 2010

We're all okay.

I wish the day was actually 35 hours long instead of 24. I wish the extra hours were actually stand still hours where you were only allowed to play catch up.

Today the girls were up at 8, fed by 8:30, bathed & dressed by 9:15. We were packed and in the car by 9:40 and to the stores by 10. We made some returns and found a much needed hoodie sweatshirt for me (from the clearance rack...hallelujah! I hate shopping) and were sitting at my sisters house for a pit stop by 11. The pit stop was to feed the baby. Alissa joined us and we were off by 11:45. We hit the bank and subway by 12:00. We were heading to my mom's work to get some stuff faxed to the IRS for Alissa and saw a friend broken down on the side of the road. We brought her to the hospital--because that was her destination, not because she was in trouble--and restarted our running. We were at my mom's work by 1:00. I fed Ameira, had lunch with my mom and hit the [cloth] diaper store by 2:00. We grocery shopped by 3:00 and were back feeding the baby at Alissa's by 4. Made a few calls to make sure Ry wasn't going to sleep through work by 4:30. At my mom's house to drop Alissa off with her husband, Ben, and giving Ameira a much needed nap by 5:15. At my house to meet Julie to "hang out" (if thats what it could even be called) by 6:45. (she sat at the table and talked to me while I cleaned my kitchen and dealt with a tired/disagreeable two-year-old that refused to go to bed) Both girls fed and in bed by 8:00 9:30. My house is still messy. There is a pan filled with burnt popcorn sitting in our driveway because I don't have the energy to deal with it. I was supposed to prep and prime the wall so that Ryan can build us some bookshelves tomorrow. There just aren't enough hours in the day. There is just so much to get done.

Yet... the things that HAVE to get done are getting done. I'm playing with my kids. I'm feeding them. I'm making sure they have clean clothes and clean sheets for their beds. I'm making sure that beyond a shadow of a doubt Aayla knows that I love her and she comes miles before a clean house. Ameira just needs to know we're there at this point... and I'm making sure she does. We're all alive and we're all happy. If a dirty diaper falls out of the trash and gets tucked where it shouldn't... it's okay. Gross, but okay. If Aayla drops a bunch of raisins in a spot I don't see because she is dancing so hardcore she doesn't see half her box flying madly around the room... its okay. If my shower liner gets some scum buildup that makes me blush... its okay. If my living room table is stacked up with clean laundry waiting to be folded and books waiting to fill the soon-to-be-built-bookcases... its okay. If my kitchen floor need to be mopped two weeks ago... its okay. It doesn't all have to get done NOW. It doesn't all have to get done tomorrow. Priorities. My kids and my husband come first. Clutter-fighting and pride from following a cleaning schedule are good things, but they most certainly don't consume me. Everything in moderation... including being the perfect housekeeper. I'm confident my husband still loves me. I'm confident my kids love me and like spending time with me... so far. ;)

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