Tuesday, February 9, 2010

It could always be worse

I woke up this morning when Ryan came in from work. "What's on your lip?"
I was half asleep and pursed my lips together to figure out what he was talking about. I felt something and assumed that my lips dried out during the night, cracked, and blood had hardened. "Blood." I replied.
"No, hunny. It's white."
I sat up and ran my finger across my lips. Something hard, white, and glossy was perched on my lower lip. I picked it off as I ran my tongue over my front teeth. Sure enough, it was part of my tooth.
I spent the next forty-five minutes before the dentist office opened trying not to panic. Pretty sure I had a small panic attack and Ry kept saying, "Breathe. Stop it, breathe in and hold it. I said HOLD it." I'm pretty sure he thought he was helping. I'm pretty sure he actually did help. I'm pretty sure I wanted to punch him in the face.
All I could think about is I am not mentally prepared to go to the dentist. For others, so what? For me, it takes a while and I can't just GO to the dentist. Since I can't just go to the dentist that means I can't go before I have my tonsils out in two days. Which means I can't have even the temporary tooth put in until after the surgery and after I'm somewhat recovered. The only thing about that is we're supposed to be leaving for my sister-in-law's wedding on March 2. So that means I will have my tonsils out in two days. Two weeks later, on the Thursday, I will have the temporary put on. The next day I will go in for my 2 week check-up. Then four days later, Tuesday, we will be flying out. Breathe in, Breathe out. I will have the temporary on my teeth and will be constantly stressing about not breaking it off while we're out of state. I will most likely start having chest pain while we're gone about coming back and facing the drill at the dentist. Breathe in, breathe out. It's okay. I can handle it because I've got to handle it. God has chosen that this would all happen so close together. It's not as miserable as it could be. No one has died. I haven't lost anything (except hopefully my tonsils!) forever. It's just time and comfort. I can suck it up. I just feel very, very overwhelmed. Breathe in, breathe out.
The girls woke right after I called the dentist and set up my appointment. I got them all set up and took a moment to collect myself. Then Aayla pooped on the floor. It reminded me that its just one more thing in the long line of things that we do; no big deal. Put one foot in front of the other. Then go clean up the kid, the floor, and the jammies. Then go get your tonsils out. Then go get your teeth fixed. Ain't no thing. Trust God. Step. Trust God. Step. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

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