This isn't the end of the world. Being away from your kids isn't going to scar them (or you) for life. Not nursing Ameira will not be the end all of your milk supply (which is something you hyper-stress about and don't know why). Not seeing your friends doesn't mean you don't have any. Sleeping all day does not mean you are lazy. When you hear Aayla crying for "mama" when you're on the phone it does not mean that she sobs all day long for you, it most likely means she just got in trouble and deserved it... and will forget about it at the first sight of something shiny. Asking for help does not mean you shouldn't have chosen to have a second child. Say thank-you more often.
PS. Stop turning off the lights, hiding and pretending you are not home when you hear the doorbell ring. It's embarrassing.