Monday, June 15, 2009

Sometimes

Most of the time, I love being a mom. And there are just some of those times that I hate it. This is one of those times. Aayla is being super clingy. Ryan is working all night. Never a good combination. I have the baby gate up separating the living room with the toy room from the kitchen and myself. She is currently wagging her sippy cup over the top of it, laughing, and saying "thank-you." I'm not even going to look at her.

Ryan posted the sunfish sailboat for sale on craigslist without pictures. Of course the camera is acting up. Someone called on it this afternoon in a big hurry to get pictures so they could most likely buy it. He left for work and requested that I email this guy some pics asap. Of course as soon as he leaves she is worlds clingiest baby. I first had to fix the camera. Then transfer all the pictures off the card because it kept glitching and needed to be reformatted. But of course the hard drive is full so I needed to back up a bunch of stuff onto the external hard drive and make a copy onto a DVD just in case the Ex-HD breaks (again--I learned that lesson the hard way). Aayla this whole time is hovering, crawling on me, whining, jabbering, and just being what I didn't need her to be... a fourteen month old... because why wouldn't she be. I told her "no-no don't touch" to all the cords. Most of the time she listens. I had to pee like a racehorse (like a pregnant lady is most accurate) and stepped into the bathroom for literally 10 seconds... mid pee and I hear this big crash. If I was any less pissed, I'd make a joke about how kegels are paying off since I could stop mid-stream and come rushing out in front of open, exposed-to-the-neighbors-who-are-sitting-right-there windows to see what the heck just happened. However, I'm pissed, so I won't. She had tried climbing up to the table--over the cords. All I could see was the external hard drive on the hard tile floor... next to the upsidedown laptop. I didn't do anything but grab her and bring her back to the bathroom with me. Not a word because it would most likely be too harsh. Not another touch because it would most likely be too hard. Not even a look because it would probably be too mean. If she was any older I would have sent her to her room so I could calm down. Instead I had to drag her crying, screaming self into the bathroom with me so I could finish emptying my bladder. It took about ten minutes to calm down enough to go check on my stuff. I'm not sure if the external hd will be okay, but the laptop seems fine. If its not okay, I'm glad that I have a few back ups. I'm not glad I'll have to replace it.

We work hard for every little thing we have. We don't have that many toys. I'm not sure if I'm okay with giving up a few of the bigger ticket items just because "thats all part of raising kids... things get broken" mentality. They don't HAVE to get broken. I know she is more important than my things, but geeez sometimes... just sometimes...

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